Oh joy!

More GREAT QUOTES
-Sermonindex.

"You cannot know God beyond the point of your obedience
to what you already know of Him."
- T. Austin Sparks

“Why do we idolise Christian singers and speakers? We go from
glorifying musicians in the world to glorifying Christian musicians.
It’s all idolatry!…Satan is getting a great victory as we seem to
worship these ministers on tapes and records and clammer to get their
autographs in churches and concert halls from coast to coast.”
- Keith Green

"Paul never glamorized the gospel! It is not success, but sacrifice!
It's not a glamous gospel ,but a bloody gospel, a gory gospel, and a
sacrificial gospel! 5 minutes inside eternity and we will wish that we
had sacrificed more!!! Wept more, bled more, grieved more, loved more,
prayed more, given more!!!" - Leonard Ravenhill

"God's wounds cure, sin's kisses kill." - William Gurnall

"Only a life of prayer and meditation will render a vessel ready for
the Master's use." - George Mueller

"God gets me into a relationship with Himself whereby I understand His
call, then I do things out of sheer love for Him on my own account. To
serve God is the deliberate love-gift of a nature that has heard the
call of God." - Oswald Chambers

"It is our duty not to not only hold fast, but to hold forth the Word
of life; not only to hold fast for our own benefit, but to hold it
forth for the benefit of others, to hold it forth as the candlestick
holds forth the candle, which makes it appear to advantage all around,
or as the luminaries of the heavens, which shed their influences far
and wide." - Matthew Henry
These are all clever and many are funny, but keep in mind as you enjoy them that they all contain some truth, maybe even a little that you need to hear...

1. Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!
2. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
3. Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!
4. Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one!
5. People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
6. God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.
7. Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!
8. When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.
9. Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.
10. Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily.
11. How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?
12. Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives:
13. Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
14. It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
15. Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
16. If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
17. If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
18. Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
19. This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing? --------- (U R)
20. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
21. In the dark? Follow the Son.
22. Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.
23. If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
24. The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
25. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
26. Come in and have your faith lifted.
27. You are not too bad to come in. You are not too good to stay out.
28. Try Jesus. If you don't like him the devil will always take you back.
29. Life is Hard. Afterlife is Harder!
30. Aspire to inspire before you expire.
31. Under same management for over 2,000 years.
32. An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, For fast, fast, fast relief relief, take two tablets.
33. When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, Open Sundays, the church reciprocated with its own message: We are Open on Sundays, too. 
34.